Indians love arts, especially arts like music and dance and theater, because those arts require skill and talent and practice. Comedy, that's easy. A comedian simply walks up on stage and talks. How hard can that be! Indians are very adept at talking endlessly, especially when someone else is. Have you ever tried to moderate a verbal exchange of words involving Indians? If you haven't had the opportunity, invite some Indians over, moderate a game of Mafia, and don't forget to take a Valtrex pill for the Cold Sores & Hearpes. According to a recent study the decibel levels in Mumbai local trains are higher than those of a Jet engine, so when a Mumbaikar appears on stage, the warm and welcoming Indians will go out of their way to make you feel at home...through the entire stay.
Dec 31, 2009, 8pm-ish, I walk into the India Community Center (ICC) for the New Years Eve celebrations. 450-odd people walking in and out the banquet hall, helping themselves to food and drinks. I walk in, check with the sound guy, discuss the logistics with the light guy, and inquire the sequence of events with my point of contact at which point I discover that I am the first act of the evening and have the added little unimportant responsibility of introducing myself. I barter to introduce the next (also last) act of the evening in return for one of the dancers introducing me. Chaos...check!
8.30pm, the scheduled start of entertainment, the actual start of dinner. Late...check!
9.00pm, decide to start to make it possible for the 2nd act - the bollywood dance group, to perform and leave and make it to their next Indian event of the night a little less late.
An unsettled crowd, people walking in and out of the banquet hall with food in one hand and kids in the other, people sitting around tables eating dinner, having their little dinner conversations. Breach of contract term "all food/cleaning services are halted prior to and during the performance & that the crowd/audience is settled down for the start of the performance"...CHECK!
A quick short introduction prompts me on stage, the hall lights still on, the light guy, omnipresent, except in the light booth. As I take to the stage a cursory glance from bird's eye view reveals a noise-maker toy in the hands of a kid sitting in an adults lap on the front tables, back tables proving the power of the Indian dinner conversations to top amplified vocals, and noise maker in the hands and mouth of what seemed like an adult homo-sapien. Chaos reigning supreme...check!
A few quick cheers and a quick request...futile...move on. Jump into crowd-work, talk to random tables across the banquet hall to grab some attention and get people to take some notice. Futile. Keep trying. Slip in a joke. Notice some people listening. Appreciate them loudly and distinctly. I finish the first joke-bit, accompanied by beeps-background-music by the party-hardy homo-sapien, and chorus sounds of soothing conversations! Another quick request...futile...the show must go on!
I timed myself, during the show and the video review afterwards - 20 minutes of "the show must go on" mantra. This one particular adult homo-sapien with a noise maker in his mouth, that grabbed all my undivided attention right at the start, and regularly throughtout the 20 minutes, and also managed to coax a few quick requests to...oh well, at about the 20 minute mark appears on a table a few rows ahead of his original table, perhaps disappointed that he didn't grab my undivided attention earlier. At which point I, for lack of a better term, lost it and supported by the minority asked the well behaved man to shut the ffffffff (managed to keep the rest of the word in me and out of the phrase!) up or get out. A different minority was not so supportive and let their displeasure be known, for lack of better alternatives, in sounds.
Apologies to the organizers for cutting short, apologies and thanks to the attentive minority, an introduction of the next act and off the stage I go. My immediate instinct was to post my frustration online, but restrained myself.
In my head I kept debating the pros and cons of posting a piece of my mind and jeopardizing my relationship and prospect for future shows with the ICC. Just before the start of the event, the organizers and I decided to meet the following week to discuss some ideas for more shows at ICC. I, for the past entire year, having consciously worked towards identifying suitable comics for Indian masses, was worried about burning the bridge before a stone was laid. Well, after losing it on stage, I possibly burnt it already, but what bothered me is how small inactions of individuals contributed to the big fiasco of the night.
Where were the organizers when the over-enthusiastic noise-maker was completely out of control, and according to my watch, they had 20 minutes, by which point I figured I am left to fend for myself, and I did. Then, there was another gentleman with words of advice afterwards "You should have stayed calm. Now ICC will have to bear the brunt." How saintly?! Was it really that difficult for this calm and sensible man to walk up to the noisemaker and enlighten him with some words of wisdom?! Was it really that difficult for any one of those that were enjoying, to verbalize their discord with their neighboring tables? One person walked up two tables to ask me to move out of their line of vision when I stopped over to talk to the "you-should-have-stayed-calm" saint, but where was Mr. Maximus earlier? There were so many people there who could have done something, anything, to try to make a difference, but did nothing. Then we, as a people, complain, "What can I do, the problem is with the system". That's how every problem is dealt with - raise your hands, sit back and complain about how we are so powerless to affect a change in the system, thereby contributing to strengthen the system.
During my trip to Mumbai, during a number of cab rides, the cabbie would spit on the road, and all my sis and I did was come home and complain about how disgusting it is. Until one day I uttered "Why do you spit? Not good." to one cabbie who didn’t feel the urge for the rest of the hour-long journey. Not a heroic deed by any means, but thoroughly satisfying.
Now, I had the choice to either push everything under the carpet, act like it was all ok, and try to be pally with the ICC OR lay it all out on the table and work with them towards improving the system. Not sure if I made the right choice but it sure is thoroughly satisfying!
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