A nonsensical email forward...

Some time back I was forwarded the following email:

We can lower the price of gasoline if we work together. Please view the attached PowerPoint presentation and believe we can make a difference.

Then, the powerpoint goes on to elaborate how, by not buying from Shell/Exxon, we can create price wars and bring the price of gas down. Here's my question:

How about we choose to not purchase from Chevron instead? Since they are not the biggest they will feel the impact sooner. Or how about Arco? The extra transaction fee on the debit card purchases will also be cut down and then we can target 2 birds with one stone - Arco Gas and the ATM profiters. But wait, what if someone has begun a parallel chain to reduce the consumption of Chevron or Arco already? Maybe someone from Shell/Exxon.

How about we start another campaign, to drive hybrids only, so the gas consumption goes down automatically? But then, will Toyota, Honda and other hybrid manufacturers rule the market? In that case, why not start a campaign to stop driving altogether? But then there will too many people onboard the buses, which means the buses will consume more power to transport these people (and if an average American is to be accounted for...holy jeeragoli!!!). This also means that more buses more frequently will be needed to carry the passenger traffic, which in turn will increase the consumption of Gas. CRAP! We are back where we started!

O what the heck, its much easier to forward an email to 30 people. Now, i think i should forward this to everyone i received it from - as a reminder - just in case they forgot - dont buy from Exxon & Shell - even if you are on I-5 in Lost Hills en route LA and your car is running out of gas and the only gas station in the vicinity is a Shell. Push your cars and you can push those buggers to succumb into reducing the gas prices!

I am definitely boycotting Shell, as soon as i get a Chevron Mastercard that gives me 5% cashback on every gasoline purchase, and as soon as i am finished showing my folks from India around. Shell, you can make all the money you want in the next month and a half as i rent bigger vehicles and drive more and more, but come September...i mean July YOU ARE GONNA CRY!

(Originally emailed in May 07)