Though I don't have one yet, I keep thinking (worrying?) about where to raise my kid. Do I raise him in America, where I now live and have made it my home, where I get to be what I want to be, and where he gets to be what he wants to be. Will he grow up any smarter, wiser, with the option to study and pursue anything under the sun right from an early age. He doesn't have to study chemistry if he doesn't want to. Nor does he have to become a doctor or an engineer or, for that matter, a cricketer. But that's not the concern, is it? Because all of that is dependent on me, and my wife, and how much pressure we put on our son to live up to our expectations. The concern is, will my son grow up Indian enough?
What if my son grows up with all the vices - weed, speed, meth, marijuana, alcohol, racism, uncultured, disrespectful, careless, reckless and what not. After all there is no one to keep an eye on him while he grows up in America. In India you got a thousand eyes watching you closely every moment of your life. There is no escape. Everyone is self policing, keeping you in check, all the time. They tell you what you can do, what you cannot do, what you should do, what you should not do, who you should befriend and who you should not. They don't have racism, they have cynicism. Cynicism because one has to look out for his own, because everyone else is hardly trying to improve their life, because everyone is trying hard to immiserate yours.
One of the things that I have read, and heard, and to a certain extent seen many many times, is how an Indian behaves spick and span outside his country but forgets it the minute he returns home to India. But in India he behaves spick and span in his home. Which means an Indian behaves right in his home and the rest of the world. What is it that makes him disregard the rest of India? Is this where I want my son to grow up? Where he keeps his house clean, and the rest of the world clean but litters all over India? The India where my son can't get by his life without bribing someone in some form, willingly or unwillingly. Where he has no clue when he will be left stranded without water, or electricity, or gas in his own home. Where he doesn't know when his next holiday is coming because the bus-wallahs or the taxi-wallahs or the teachers or some political party called a strike.
In India I have no control over circumstances but should manage to keep my kid under control (read fear). In America, the circumstances are pretty well set, and yet I may not be able to control my kid (child services?!). But is that the truth or is that the illusion? Are kids in India really under control? If I look at my childhood, youth and adolescence, I remember being the only one that didn't smoke, or drink, or do anything vile. I remember friends and neighbors that ran away from their homes, hit their parents, burn cars. I found it very disturbing that a lot of my friends were more willing to lie to their families than speak the truth; perhaps the pressure of living up to their expectations was too much.
More recently, everytime I made a trip back home I felt like a stranger, left behind, left behind by todays young generation that lives Hollywoodish and MTVish. I remember once walking along a popular "town side" college, seeing how the young college girls dressed, enough to put the Sharon Stones and Demi Moores to shame. I remember my own youth, where speaking double negatives like "I ain't not know" was cool. I would watch only English movies, and listen to only English music, because Bollywood was bakwaas and Hollywood, with its Rambos and Commandos, was jhakaas. Its a stark contrast to what I see in America today. The Indians, no matter where they were born, are more inclined to watch a Bollywood blockbuster on the opening weekend, watch Zee TV & Sony TV, speak to each other in Hindi, and those born in the motherland, gather together for Cricket World Cup. The festivals are celebrated with more culture and tradition than theie Indian counterparts, and wearing Indian clothes signifies a special coolness. And Indian food....ahh nothing beats it!
It seems like the Indians in America are more Indian than the Indians in India. Oh the dilemma!! I hope to find an answer before my kid shows up, because I have to decide where my kid grows up.
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